Personal Ad

I went to the Writing Fix website and got the following prompt: "What would be an interesting personal ad to read in the newspaper? Imagine who might send it, then write the ad." Here's my story based on that prompt:




As she sat on the couch eating Ben and Jerry’s Americone Dream straight out of the carton, she thought to herself maybe she should make some changes in her life.

It had been awhile since she had been in the dating scene. She smirked as she realized saying “awhile” was the same as saying the Atlantic Ocean was “wet.” When she was young, she concentrated on other things; her career and education. There would always be time for romance later. But later came sooner than she expected and now she realized there had to be more.

She was always the person everyone came to for answers. She had always been a methodical thinker and could analyze a problem from its big picture down the details needed to solve it. But she honestly had no idea how to approach this.

The modern world seemed so different than the love stories she heard growing up. In the past, meetings at structured social functions had led to true love while dancing to big bands. But, the world today wasn’t accommodating enough to provide structure to its social functions and seem to actually enjoy letting its inhabitants randomly crash into each other without a thought of everlasting love.

She had heard about personal ads and had taken a look many times. But the ads seemed almost like comedy writings. If that many people were interested in soul mates, walks along the beach, and sunsets, where had all the romance in the real world gone? She decided she would buck the trend and write a completely honest personal ad. An ad that described the “real” her. Surely, the masses would appreciate someone finally presenting an honest evaluation of self.

“Single, 41 year-old female. Has absolutely no idea how romance works. Has really let herself go over the years. Tends to be cranky, especially in the mornings. Grew up an only child and has always had a problem with sharing. Thinks sarcasm is an appropriate response for most anything, including deeply personal stories. Isn’t really much into doing things outside the comfort of her own home except for eating out. Doesn’t really like people around “hovering” all the time. Very picky about everything.”

She reviewed the ad and plopped back down on the sofa, grabbing the Ben and Jerry’s ice cream before her behind hit the sofa cushions. Maybe the world isn’t ready for that kind of honesty, she thought. Maybe she could at least pretend to like the occasional sunset.